It’s been quite a while since my last post. Moving, getting set up and not having internet access at home have a lot to do with that.
Well, I just finished my orientation at school and it looks AWESOME. I really cannot wait to start and be busy again!! I feel lost without lots of things to do and tend to flounder more then when I don’t have much on my plate. Weird, no? I just get too caught up in the fact that not much is going on and tend to dwell on it. More to do = less time to dwell and more pressure to be organized. I guess that means I can start telling potential employers I work well under pressure! The things I don’t realize until I don’t have them any more…Also weird, no?
It’s also been really great catching up with all my friends! WOW, I did not realize how much I missed them til I got back. Or how hard it really was without all of them. Viewing myself as my own best friend and priding myself on how well I cope independently can blind me from seeing just how important other people are in my life. Not that I don’t enjoy time with them or that I keep myself from spending time with them, but I lose focus, you know? I value my friendships just as much as I value myself but that can be easy to forget when you are focussed on #1 and with forgetting that so does reminding your friends just how much you appreciate them.
So, I’ve been spending a lot of time at the library and walking around (as I have a serious lack of transportation options available to me right now…meaning none unless I want to pay stupid amounts of money that I would rather save for laundry) and …I don’t know where I was going with that, I suppose I just wanted to let you know what I’ve been up to. 50% walking, 50% life. Also, the cat shit himself and smells real bad. REAL BAD.
I’m working on getting organized, as in scheduling every part of my life, making a solid budget (for first time ever) so I can make sure I can be super busy without missing anything. I LOVE checklists (in the past, the infamous to-do list) when life gets like this. I am usually very good at staying on top of everything without them (hence why I this is my first time making a budget) but shit has gotten real for me lately and it’s time for me to be a bit more grown up in my approach to life and tackling everything I need to do. One of the many changes I am currently working on.
As I was sitting in the classroom (:D!!!) today during orientation and she was going over all our school policies, procedures, boring stuff I suddenly felt as if I had SO far to go in the changes I want to make. I realized I still have a lot to work on but was quickly reminded of how far I have come based on the fact that the very next thought that popped into my head was “But the point is you are trying and that’s what really counts and as long as you are trying what else is there to do?” and compared to other similar times in my life I felt much more in control of myself, focussed on myself instead of others and MUCH less afraid. As in I faced every thing I had to do today (not just today but every day lately) with complete confidence and determination. Woo, go me, right?!
Anyways, people in the library really like to creep on everybody else’s computer and i find it annoying so I’m going to end this right now. No guarantees when the next post will be, not that I have any readers anyways hahah. Sayonara!